Our 9 Months

Be creative! While many people tend to prefer the missionary position for sex during pregnancy, it becomes a very difficult maneuver to perform as the abdomen gets larger. Try some of these positions:

• Woman on top. This allows you to control the depth of penetration, and the majority of the movement. You can go as fast or as slow as you’d like, while controlling the depth of the penis. This position works really well throughout pregnancy and at the very end of pregnancy.
• Spooning. This position gets it’s name from the way spoons fit together in the silver ware drawer. Usually it’s best if the man is behind allowing his penis to go between your thighs and enter you from behind. This creates no pressure on the abdomen, and allows for a shallow penetration. Many women find this a very relaxing position for sex during pregnancy, and it can be used throughout.
• Hands & Knees. This is a very good position for pregnant women again because of the lack of direct pressure on the abdomen, although as your get larger your belly may actually rest on the bed. Some women find this difficult at the very end of pregnancy, depending on how high they are able to hold their belly off the bed and still allow for penetration.
• Side lying. This can be kind of tricky, but it can be done! Lay on your side with your partner facing you, try pulling one leg up to allow room for your partner. This may get tiring after awhile, and may not be easy for the last part of pregnancy.

All of the above mentioned positions also allow for manual stimulation of the clitoris either by yourself or your partner. This can greatly increase your chances of becoming multi-orgasmic, not to mention it’s a lot of fun. They also prevent the mother from laying on her back, which is not recommended after the fourth month of pregnancy (16 weeks gestation).

When you’re trying to think of a good position, try it, if it doesn’t work stop. Creativity will be a lot of fun during pregnancy, and it will probably carry over into your postpartum sex life as well, when creativity becomes important in a different way.

When not to have sex and/or orgasms during pregnancy:

• Your practitioner has advised against it
• You have a history of premature birth or labor
• Placenta previa (Where part of the placenta is covering the cervix)
• Your water has broken
• Your are currently experiencing bleeding
• You or your partner has an active sexually transmitted disease

Creativity should be your keyword during pregnancy. Or more bluntly put, whatever works! There are many positions that are more comfortable as you expand. These include:

• Woman on top
• Spooning (Man behind woman, rear entry)
• Hands and Knees
• Side lying, knee pulled up

What are men saying about sex during pregnancy? Most are pleasantly surprised.

Nothing raises as many eyebrows as the subject of sex during pregnancy. Despite the old saying that medical and religious miracles aside, every pregnancy started with a sex act.

One thing that I would note is that sex and sexuality are very different, and that even if you are not having sexual intercourse, your sexuality can still be expressed.

Your sexual practices during pregnancy will depend on several factors:

• Your previous beliefs about sex
• Your Partner’s previous beliefs
• Physical aspects of your pregnancy
• Emotional aspects of your pregnancy

There are many reasons why sex during pregnancy can be more enjoyable, even if your are doing it less. There is an increase in vaginal lubrication, engorgement of the genital area helps some people become orgasmic for the first time or multi-orgasmic, the lack of birth control, or if you have been trying for awhile, a return to sex as pleasure as opposed to procreational, and other reasons.

On the other hand there are reasons why sex might not be as pleasurable: fear of hurting the baby, nausea, fatigue, awkwardness, etc.

Although these can be valid reasons, doing research and talking to your partner and practitioner can often help you clarify what is really inappropriate during pregnancy, particularly for you.

Change is rampant during pregnancy both in your body and your beliefs. While women may feel large and uncomfortable, men generally find the pregnant body very erotic and desirable. Talk about your differences and attitudes towards your body and sexuality.

Make sure that you discuss the feelings that you have about sex and sexuality. These discussions can lead to a more fulfilling sex life. If either of you do not feel like having sex, this can be particularly important. Explain to your partner what is going on and what they can do to help you be sexual. For example: more cuddling, relaxing baths, romantic dinners, massages, mutual masturbation, whatever you and your partner agree upon is exactly what you need.

The hormonal fluctuations of pregnancy also play a part in your reactions to making love, as do the trimesters. Many women are too fatigued and nauseated to be very interested during the first trimester, while the second trimester brings a new sense of delight as her abdomen grows, and again later in the third trimester the desire may wane as well.